Aside from the clearly offensive title of this post, it is true. I had one weird, cracker-ass dream. Certainly, I didn’t have to refer to it as such, but it truly fits.

I was in a dream version of the Vietnam War. I knew it was only a dream version because it was like a cross between the Vietnams of Platoon and Forrest Gump. It was like Platoon because John C. McGinley was there; he was the leader of the platoon I was in. It was like Forrest Gump because I was shot in the ass and it had a less of a impending doom kinda feel to it. After being shot in the ass, I was promptly brought to a medical building, where I was helped (i.e. having my butt bandaged) by Zach Braff as J.D. from Scrubs.

The oddness didn’t even stop there. The budding romance between my platoon leader (i.e. John C. McGinley) and I was a little odd. I may have a little girl crush on Dr. Cox in Scrubs but in Platoon McGinley was kind of a sleeze. Of course, in my dream, we wasn’t a sleeze, but still.

All this oddity was trumped by the troop of Vietnamese Boy Scouts that we thought were attacking our platoon. We even shot a few of their parents that followed along behind them. They weren’t trying to harm us though! All they wanted to do was sell us stuff! Like fleece jackets, and snuggies, and handkercheifs. After apologetically buying merchandise from the Boy Scouts, we continued on.

I don’t remember at which point in the dream this happened, but the platoon heard about a space shuttle explosion back in the States. On the space shuttle, of course, was the crew of Apollo 13. Kevin Bacon and Tom Hanks died in the explosion, but Bill Paxton returned to Earth just fine. And I know Gary Sinise was mentioned in there some where, I just don’t remember where.

And that’s all I have to say about that.